is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
