I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
