glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
foreskin is a definite game changer
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize