Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
