It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize