I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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