How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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