My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
she smelled like a LAN party
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
