i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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