Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
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i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
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The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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