The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
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You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
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Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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