I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
More tranny stories later!
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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