....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
