And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
