I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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