you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
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