What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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