I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize