The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
