I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
