I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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