i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
this will be a night to untag.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Randomize
