You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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