I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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