I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
