ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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