I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
