HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
why is half of my head shaved?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
