quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
