I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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