Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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