I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
