i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
