weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
