Got a toothbrush?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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