so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
