saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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