Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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