WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
