Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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