So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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