I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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