the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
