Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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