i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize