i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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