I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Let's get the cat blown out
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.