how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.