Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on