in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize