I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
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He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
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FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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