Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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