Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
