The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
