More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
