so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
