If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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