what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
