playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
